There’s a quote I come across recently “People will forget about what you said, they will forget about what you did but they will never forget how you made them feel”.
That day all I thought about was walking into busy traffic. You hurt me more than I ever thought was capable.
The day began like any other to some we seemed like best friends, a relationship people envied since I was small. only we knew or maybe you didn’t notice? And only I knew there were years of tension. As usual, we left in a hurry from our activity I’m not sure why?
Stress levels were heightened. Crosswords were exchanged.
When your hand struck my body I was in shock. It had happened when I was younger but this time it was over petty shit. Your anger scared me, adrenaline was pumping through my body. Your words cut through me like a knife, I recall crying & shouting it wasn’t me or you but another innocent bystander.
We continued our journey, senses & emotions were heightened When the words left your mouth I was shocked, to say the least. You were by my side through the hardest experience of my life. I often wondered if people thought this about me about our situation. It’s not exactly unique but it’s rare and I bet nobody knows another like us.
Hearing it was my fault for events that played out during my pregnancy & premature birth. Hearing the words leave your mouth “it was my fault Olivia was how she was” Your words not mine. I think what you mean is how Olivia was born premature & suffered catastrophic brain damage? I admit I saw red. Focusing on you and only you. I’m not sorry for hitting you in retaliation, all respect was gone on both sides. I’m sorry for the other person in the car who was upset & also felt the wrath of your anger.
I wandered the streets that day contemplating, blood & scratches etched across myself. My own as you know I hit you in retaliation but I didn’t draw blood like you did.
I was told by somebody we both love / Loved to call the police as you deserved to be punished. I didn’t.
Because of your words, I feel guilt every time I look at my child. A few minutes is all it took to change me as a person.
I do not bare physical wounds but I am no longer ok, I am no longer managing. They say actions speak louder than words, but words have the power to destroy your soul. To break you down cell by cell.
Maybe this will make you think in the future about your tongue, I don’t think it will. The backlash from this I have received proves it.
I deserve to be heard and you will listen.