UNCONVENTIONAL HEARTBREAK – What to do & how to recover 

 Recently several people I really care about are no longer apart of my life. It’s not easy; relationship breakdowns especially family related can be among the most painful experiences in life. Loss of any kind is tough, but loss like this can sting like none other.

I wrote a previous post touching on the subject of “Why” which you can read here. After this was posted it stirred up a few emotions from myself and of course the people I was talking about. Without going into too much detail I’ll say it ruffled a few feathers and I got a stern telling off. This annoyed me as let’s not forget I’m 26 so hardly a child requiring discipline but more that a few more lies were told & let’s just say my little corner of the internet became the talk of quite a few people.

Which got me thinking I can’t possibly be alone experiencing situations like this, I’m quite headstrong so backing me into a corner won’t leave me cowering for cover it will more than likely end badly. However what about the people who aren’t as outspoken? The people who feel bullied, alienated.

Here are a few strategies to get you through.

1. GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA, at least for a while. Trust me Otherwise the automatic impulse to check your phone will re-trigger you again and again. i’ve read comments about myself from people who don’t even know me, it’s annoying but tit for tat will not solve anything (if you want things solving) it will just make you feel worse.

2. LEAN ON THOSE CLOSE TO YOU. Don’t bury your emotions what’s happening if unexpected will knock you for six. Your only Human , if you need to cry do so. Have somebody you can speak to. This is the time to surround yourself with good people, unbiased opinions and discuss the situation amicably.

3. KEEP BUSY. This is a must the last thing you want to do is sit around overthinking.

4. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO GRIEVE. Let me explain this one…. This May sound extreme especially if the person isn’t dead BUT I’m assuming this person or people were apart of your life, involved in everything you do. This will be a big change realistically your life as you know it is going to change.

5. PUT EVERYTHING INTO PERSPECTIVE. Life is our teacher, you live and you learn.

“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”

Lesson to learn from this quote – Being angry at someone hurts only you. Let go of your anger, not for the other person, but for yourself. Remember, forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Forgiving means accepting that it happened.

6. TRUST YOUR INTUITION. Never discredit your gut feelings, your brain can be fooled but that feeling you just can’t shake is the real truth.

7. PUT YOURSELF FIRST. Avoid people who mess with your head & intentionally and repeatedly do things they know upset you. Look after yourself, Write to get your feelings out.

8. And lastly TIME DISCOVERS TRUTH

– Remember that everything provides a lesson and an opportunity to grow. Yes, there will be good days, and bad days, but soon the good will outnumber the bad.

Get ready to emerge as a stronger and wiser version of yourself.


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  • I’m actually going through a friendship breakdown right now with someone who was once my best friend, so this post couldn’t have come at a better time. I definitely agree with staying away from social media for a bit – it really helps to not have their life shoved in your face via social media. Leaning on other people really helps too. Great tips – super helpful. 🙂

    Christie’s Take on Life. xx

  • twinklingtina

    keeping yourself busy is the best way, divert mind and keep yourself busy – you will even end up doing productive product. Love your tips.

  • These are some great tips. Putting yourself first sounds like a really good one. Also keeping busy, because then you won’t think about it as much.

  • Nellwyn

    This is great advice, particularly about getting off social media. I’ve had to do that a few times because it’s true that spending so much time on social can keep digging up bad feelings or expose you to cruel trolls.

  • Jhilmil Bhansali

    Sucha great advices when you are heartbroken..And yes, I took a small break from social media for 2months, which made me feel so better! Sometimes social becomes mean in these situations..

  • Taking a social media break can definitely help when you’re feeling isolated. I know what it’s like to get negative comments from people who don’t even know you. I think you handled it well! Keep your head up and keep doing what makes you happy 🙂

  • Georgina Lilgem Sackey

    Thanks for the advice keeping busy really helps alot it makes you discover hidden talents and also grieving helps as well

  • David Elliott

    Getting away from social media and finding you after the breakup are important things. It’s so easy to get caught up in the death spiral of comments in social media and be triggered by everything so getting away is essential.

  • Anamika Ojha

    Taking a break from social media really helps! I TOTALLY agree with you that we all need someone close to lean on during those times when we are vulnerable!

  • Rahul Khurana

    The best thing to do is to write down your feelings, that you did. Taking a break from society and sitting in peace to analyze yourself are also good ways. 🙂

  • Channeling your mind into something does so much good to someone suffering from heartache.
    Soon the good will outnumber the bad- gives so much hope!

  • LC @ A Life of Authenticity

    You speak the truth Ms. Lady!! It’s unfortunate when people have to be put out of your life (or they choose to leave), either way we must realize that some people are only supposed to be in our life for a season. We need to accept it and move on…however you offer great strategies to get through the tough times. Take care…and do yourself a favor and take your own advise. You too need time to grieve your loss. Be blessed.

  • Pam Dollesin

    Surely, I don’t let anyone rob me of my joy and I prefer to look at the bright side of life. I also write my thoughts like what I’ve learned and so on..

    Pammy – joyfulsource.com

  • Em Linthorpe

    Solid advice here..the ending of an important relationship can be extremely painful and testing.

  • Angela Noel

    I like “Time discovers Truth.” I believe this. And I also believe time discovers DIFFERENT truths as I continue to reflect on important events in my life. What I discover about a “break up” immediately following the event is truth, but the nuance I learn ten years later offers a totally new nugget of knowledge. Thanks for the post!

  • Nicole Locorriere

    These are some great tips, especially giving yourself time, and permission to grieve. I always try to keep busy, too, but sometimes I end up going overboard and not giving myself permission to grieve. It’s all about balance! Great post, and hope you’re feeling okay 🙂