A letter to the Judgey mum at playgroup 

An open letter to the Judgemental mothers at Playgroup.

Dear Judgemental Mama,

I see you judging me when my daughter won’t sit still at song time when she gets into the middle of the circle and Dances. God forbid she has fun and enjoys herself at playgroup. I see you looking at me with that “Control your child” look. When she’s running around screaming with excitement bouncing from one corner to the other, I see your side glances & Sometimes hear you tut that she almost knocked your child over, she is 18 months old. It was an accident and I made her apologise in her own way. I even apologised to you when I really should have told you she’s a baby herself.
You see my daughter is a sibling of a child with a severe disability which makes it incredibly difficult to get out some days. Some days her sibling hasn’t slept at all throughout the night. She could just be having an off day which means plenty of quiet time and cuddles. When she goes to the nursery we go to play group & My child almost has a fit she’s that excited to see and play with children who will actually interact with her.

Judgemental
Please don’t judge her she isn’t Naughty or a horrible child, actually she’s quite the opposite! She’s an incredibly loving little girl and at just 1 year and 7 months has already had to sacrifice so much, more than you can imagine.
Nursery is a place to build character, to learn sharing and other little lessons. However, my child already knows how to share. You didn’t see her give your child a toy, you only saw her take it back. It isn’t malicious she’s simply a baby learning.

Judgemental
Let’s not judge not only other Mothers but other people. We simply don’t know what goes on in their private life.

Let us raise kind children, lead by example and that example is you.

Love from one Mother to another x

Judgemental

P.s don’t be so Judgemental it’s not a good look. Plus you never know when you will be in the firing line, thinking the same as me! See you next week.

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  • Chelf Chelfdom

    haters gonna hate. Ignore and delete them 🙂

  • Amen to this! My son, who has autism, was judged a lot when he was small. It was tough. My daughter was like yours: she was always jumping around and such, and people would give me Looks–drove me nuts!

    • It’s awful and it makes you feel so uncomfortable. There really is no need.

  • T-Nicole Johnson

    It’s amazing how other moms can be so judgmental. No one child is alike. Children should be always allowed expressing how they’re feeling. Even if that means playing around. They’re kids, not robots.

  • Divya Budhraja

    I’m not a mama yet but I’ve faced a lot of these judgmental stares when I work with my students. Sometimes my students will have a tantrum and I’ll wait it out and try to not give them my attention when they act that way until they exhibit the appropriate behavior. When I have onlookers (e.g. parents of other students), they often look at me and wonder why I’m not “dealing with it.” They have no context on why I’m doing what I’m doing and that I AM dealing with it. They just stare at me with their judgmental eyes. And I realize I have to ignore THEM too.

    • Yeah ignoring them helps they don’t know what’s going on just that they don’t “agree” with how you’ve handled something. Every parent brings thier child up different I want mine to have fun and not feel restraint. Of course if she was being truly naughty I would have dealt with it.

  • Deimarys Colon

    If she is at playgroup it’s called PLAYGROUP for a reason, let her have fun and you know what?! if she stand up and dance, dance with her to!!! I go to the playground and run around with my kid, get on the swings, go down the slide and laugh out loud with him. Let them be kids, enjoy and have fun. Ugh, judgy mothers are the WORST.

    • Yes exactly! We get covered in paint, get wet and play in the sand because she loves it and enjoys herself there. She’s just a baby having fun nothing is intentional even being “naughty” she’s just learning.

  • Aren’t most parent’s judgmental? Not in a bad way, but just always looking out for their kids?

    • My daughter is 18 months old and wears 9-12 months clothes she’s tiny, She’s hardly going to cause damage to another child. There’s no reason to act like that around a baby! I wouldn’t dream of behaving like that don’t get me wrong the mother Whos sat there watching her kid be a brat and horrible doing nothing would get my back up but I’m not that mother. I got her to apologise and apologised to the mum myself. The child didn’t even notice she just carried on playing.

  • David E

    I agree that we should raise our children to be empathetic to others around them. We shouldn’t simply judge others as we do not know where they come from or why they do what they do.

  • I try not to put a lot of thought into what people could be thinking about me because maybe I could be wrong but I’m glad that your daughter is getting out and having a wonderful time at playgroup

  • Ann

    Alot of people are very judgemental, that is because they don’t know any better. Kids are kids are and they will play and fuss to each other but that doesn’t mean other parents should judge that kid. When people judge my.kid I just look at them and making them think stupid.

  • Seeking Neverland

    Great read. I don’t have children but I can understand how mothers can be. My aunt is crazy and feels the need to impose on all other parents. It’s embarassing honestly. Just remember that they are most likely sad with their own lives.

  • Valerie CottageMakingMommy

    Way to go. I’d love to print off copies of this and leave it around.

  • yes! I always hated taking my daughter to play groups and the like when she was younger. Even at 4 she is very high energy and doesn’t stay still, and I feel like people still look at her like she is some bad kid.

  • Molly Kumar

    I’m not a mother yet but I’ve definitely see this tendency in our group of girls and I simply hate it. We are all learning and improving, so nobody has the right to be judgemental ! So agree with your article.

  • A big truth .We mothers judge all the time.It takes a lot of empathy to.understand. I think your child is adorable.Adjusting with a sibling with disability can be traumatic.