Today marks the last day of Mental Health Awareness week and with last week being Maternal mental health matters I couldn’t not write a post to conclude both weeks. Adding Mental health into my blog I do feel compelled to participate and join in the conversation, which does add a level of pressure, especially creating content based on the topic.
Although I am happy to talk about my mental health, as I wholeheartedly agree that the more people talking about it then it will help raise awareness and offer support to people struggling, sometimes words fail me. I find myself holding back, umming and ahhing and stumbling over my words hoping not to offend. There are so many contributing factors to mental health, everybody has their own experiences. So today I am just going to talk about my mental health, my journey and my improvements.
For the past month or so, I’ve felt that I have turned a massive corner where my MH health is concerned. Yet deep in my heart and soul I know I am far from being mentally healthy.
At one point mental health completely dominated my life. I spent hours sat in bed, on the bathroom floor staring at the walls crying. I had hit rock bottom. I sat staring at traffic wondering if they were going fast enough to kill me. Sitting holding pills wishing for the thoughts in my head would stop. I was drained, no longer caring. It has been a long, long journey to get where I am today. It was difficult but god was it worth it.
It’s only since seeking help professionally, writing my blog and numerous notes on my phone I keep private. I have been able to really face my problems and break down that black cloud that’s been hovering over my head for years.
Well, I would personally say that I have been managing my MH well. I, of course, have my down days, but I am getting better at coping with those days. Working out my triggers and eliminating those the best I can, Stress being a massive factor which if I am honest isn’t easy with our life. However now I prepare myself for those days if were having hospital visits or important meetings. I have eliminated whatever doesn’t bring me peace of mind as best I can, I do more of what I love without feeling guilty. I make my health a priority! Again there are days I feel overwhelmed with my personal issues and trauma I have faced but I have learnt to communicate how I am feelings.
Holding on to things that make you feel bad, is damaging.
Realising that self-care is absolutely essential in leading a happy life something I can not stress enough. Previously during my down days, I didn’t shower, I didn’t eat, I barely spoke a word and I would google some pretty horrific websites. This was my depression at its peak I was a completely direct person. Nowadays you will find me having weekly faicals, getting out of the house & reading. I downloaded an app to help detach from my phone as I do believe a digital detox and a break from social media helps massively. Self-care to some is such a small thing however to me it’s a huge benefit.
Things can and do get better this isn’t your life forever! It’s just a difficult and crappy stage.
As mental health awareness week comes to end we need to keep talking, keep sharing, keep checking in. This will probably be the hardest thing you do but you will recover, take it slow and at your own pace. Right now you may feel vulnerable, sad, you may even feel nothing at all but one day you will feel better. Remember you can do anything but not everything, if you need a break… take one.